forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
