my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize