I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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