If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Operation Purity has been aborted
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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