Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
