You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize