I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
