There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize