I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
