yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
MIDGETS
????
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
