Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
