I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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