I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
