You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
