I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Non-Jews are for practice
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
