I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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