There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
