im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
