i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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