I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
