once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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