the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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