She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
