Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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