i think my tv is drunk
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
