so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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