Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
