woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
