Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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