Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
