remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
