He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
