I just made out with a guy for $7.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
