We're facebook friends in real life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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