we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
