Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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