I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't EVER smell your tampon
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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