matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I came so hard my ears popped.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize