He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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