He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
