New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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