He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Drunk is not a location!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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