It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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