I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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