vagina is talking i cant
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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