i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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