Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
