filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
