it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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