I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
