I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
