Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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