You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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