can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
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