After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
