Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
there is glitter all over my balls
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
