did you get engaged???
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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