Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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