He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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