He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize