Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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