I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
