i think my mom watched the whole time
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
