he shaved USA in his pubs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
