Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
