My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
