Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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